Jealousy is normal whenever you feel that your friend or loved one gives too much attention to others and not you. It is only natural for people to have these conflicting emotions. Feeling jealous can be productive because it allows you to express your concern through that emotion. But, it can be dangerous because it tends to introduce doubt in friendships, especially in relationships. It is vital that you channel your jealousy properly, and here are seven ways you can do so without deepening whatever scar you may have created among you and your friends or loved ones.
Don’t draw comparisons
The first thing about overcoming jealousy is to stop drawing comparisons. The way your loved one or friend treats another person may be something you’ve been overthinking about. When you draw comparisons, you build up expectations. These expectations may lead to false beliefs and you might end up facing even more issues if you stay jealous. Jealousy is a very sensitive emotion because of its long term effects. When you draw comparisons, you make assumptions, and these are not good things in relationships at all. So pick your battles wisely and stop drawing comparisons.
One thing that can allow you to overcome jealousy is to get real and face things as they happen. Don’t draw conclusions based on your plain observation. Talk to your partner or friend about being jealous. Although it may put you in an awkward position, it is worth the try in talking things out before assumptions get thrown around.
Stop being too protective
To stop being overwhelmed by jealousy, you should lay low on being too protective. Jealousy is based on people being too controlling of their partners. This can result in many emotions being thrown around, and this is definitely not a good thing when handling relationships. Jealousy can overturn rational thinking, especially if you’re too protective of your partner. So loosen up and trust them a little bit more than you normally would. They deserve that, anyway.
Relax and take things easy
Jealousy fuels other emotions like anger or guilt. Learn to channel these properly by relaxing. Being consumed by jealousy can change a relationship’s status abruptly, especially as you become even more sensitive than usual. Take it easy and you’ll find out that your assumptions were overestimated.
Don’t play along
The worst thing to do in handling jealousy is to get back at your friend or loved one. Don’t play along and make them jealous in return because it complicates things. Always learn to prevent yourself from playing mind games because they hurt the relationship in the long run.
The best option is to actually believe your partner or friend when they say that they have no further associations with whoever you’re jealous of. This not only strengthens your relationship, but you are also assured that no under-the-table business is going on.
Protect yourself for any worst case situations
The finality of the situation is to accept that the worse could happen. Your friend or loved one could be actually replacing you on purpose. Be fortified and make sure you won’t let that pull you down.
Next time you’ve got a spurt of jealousy boiling in you, learn to channel it properly and live a better life—you definitely deserve more.