As couples move through the years in a relationship, they can sometimes change. Issues will always present themselves in any relationship, no matter how healthy it is. What distinguishes a resilient, long-term, truly intimate relationship from one seemingly doomed to fail is that the issues that come up in the relationship are tackled head-on, with active participation from each person in the relationship. All of that is easier said than done, though. Relationships take work. More than that, they take a plan of action. Here are the best ways to go about fixing intimacy problems in relationships.
Cut Out Distractions
According to The League, getting caught up in other aspects of your life, like your career, is understandable, but it’s potentially devastating for your relationship’s long-term health. Many people can sense when their partners are not really present, and it can feel like they’re not emotionally invested in the relationship. When you are on the receiving end, that kind of scorn stings. However, when you are the one transgressing, it may very well be unintentional. You may just be so distracted that you don’t even realize how you are neglecting your relationship.
Listen to your partner and read his or her body language, then think about your role in the relationship. Are you giving your significant other the attention that he or she deserves?
Go to Couples Therapy
Sometimes, your problems might be too complex or deep-seated to know how to resolve on your own. This is especially often true in relationships that have spanned years or even decades. Old issues seemingly lost in time can actually still have profound effects on your relationship today. Resentment, frustration, and anger can be difficult emotions to root out effectively, but rooting them out and resolving them is the only way to move forward if your relationship has any hope of succeeding. According to therapist Alejandra Chayet, couples therapy might include communication skills training or intimacy education.
Spend More Meaningful Time Together
Sometimes, an intimacy problem can be cured by just doing something to rekindle the relationship, like dates. According to The Gottman Institute, going on frequent dates can rekindle the sexual chemistry that you had when you first started dating. Find something to do together that you both enjoy. If you both like movies, plan a date night to the movie theater to catch the latest thriller on the big screen. Go to a concert downtown to see a musical act that you both like. Whatever excites both of you, incorporate activities around that into your lives.
Intimacy problems can be frustrating for any couple. Thankfully, there are things you can do to fix them. Implement these three tips into your relationship, invest in your mutual success earnestly, attend couples therapy, and you’ll see the ship begin to turn around.
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