Just like any life change, getting married poses a new set of challenges for couples. Between figuring out joint finances, insurance, household chores, schedules, and many more obstacles, it’s no wonder that many couples begin to fight shortly after getting married. However, just because there are many adjustments and obstacles you face after marriage does not mean that you can’t work through them together and come out the other side stronger.
While arguments can be common in relationships, especially soon after getting married, it can sometimes be difficult to identify what you are actually arguing about. According to New Paths, finances tend to be one of the biggest sources of contention among married couples. Along with finances, schedules, household chores, odd habits, politics, and religion can all be sources of frustration for married couples. It’s vital to communicate and identify what you and your spouse are arguing about before you can work on solving the problem. You may find that you tend to argue about the same problems. If this is the case, you need to be conscious of those problems and learn how to deal with them.
Plan Concrete Action
After identifying the arguments you as a couple tend to have, work together to plan what you will do the next time a problem arises. According to The Gottman Institute, deciding how to talk about the issues you have, how to resolve the issues, and how to communicate how you’re feeling are all important steps to discovering the best ways you and your spouse both resolve and heal from conflict. Planning what action to take when problems arise will help you to work through challenges.
Learn to Communicate Before Problems Arise
The key to overcoming challenges in a marriage, however, is to communicate with your spouse before problems arise. Discuss how you’re feeling with an open and honest dialogue based on love and care and avoiding judgment. Divvy up chores and even switch them every few days so the work is equal and not too overwhelming. Learning how to communicate both your wants and needs, as well as issues you are facing, will help you to avoid conflict in the future and resolve conflict quickly and healthily when it does arise.
Challenges are a natural and normal part of all relationships, especially in marriages. By learning how to communicate effectively and face the problems together, you’ll be able to grow stronger and closer than you were before. Remember: it isn’t you against your spouse, it is you and your spouse against the problem.
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